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Digby Jones, Baron Jones of Birmingham - 01.08.2021


Digby Digby Baron M Jones
Lord of this great country
Took great care of his diction
Sounding every G
Digby Digby said of his speech
"Never," he said, said he;
"Have my aitches been dropped
or my glottals been stopped,
I'm utterly perfect, me."

Digby Digby Marritt's telly
Caused him a great offence
Some lowly BBC pundit
Appeared to be quite dense
D D ranted on Twitter
"People these days - good Lord!
must pronounce their Gs
with reasonable ease!"
And other such nonsense roared

Digby Digby Baron M Jones
Found, to his great surprise
The great unwashed British public
Were minded to not sympathise:
"D D you bumblin fool
stick to the day job, do please!
Our Alex is smashin
refrain from your bashin
you know where to stick all those Gs!"

With apologies to A A Milne

What all the fuss was about

Season's greetings - 23.12.2020


i was out beside the football pitches
next to the railway lines
two kids ahead were cycling fast
away from mum's confines...

they slowed their speed as they neared me
the first - a girl - piped up:
"happy christmas!" and smiled so wide
i felt my heart fill up

her brother next called out the same
i surely should reply
"you must be soft you silly kids
it's all a con, run by

"ruling elites, grasping white men
capitalists so mean
dead eyed tories, daily mail hacks
and worst of all - the queen!"

i put them straight and carried on
towards their loving mum
"nice kids" i said and grinned at her
"hope your christmas is fun!"

An internal dialogue - 11.12.2020


i frown on your big german car
with its teutonic logos, the best ones by far
bristling with tech both clever and cunning
parked by the school with its engine still running ...

hold up! you frown all you like
but you went into town in your car not your bike
an unfashionable marque but still uses fuel
you holier than thou hypocritical fool ...