A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Wow, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''Get up there and tell him off! Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''
A man decides he wants to learn to play bass. He signs up for lessons and the first day the instructor says to him "today we're learning E." and he just plays E over and over again. THe next lesson he instructor says he'll be teaching him A and he plays A over and over again. The third lesson is D and he plays D over and over again. At the end of the lesson the instructor says "next lesson we'll learn G" but the guy replys "I can't make next lesson, I have a gig."