I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name.It's P something T something R.
I've put in so many shifts where I work recently that they've decided to fire me.Keyboard manufacturing isn't as easy as it looks.
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.He said, "How flexible are you?"I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."
I bought a new wig made from bum hair.Damn thing keeps blowing off.
Ken Dodds dad's dogs dead....
That's easy for you to say.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
My teacher used to say I wasn't very observant ......to be honest, that was his/her opinion.
Some people say i'm too vague.But you know the famous saying...
If anyone is thinking about buying an auto-biography, I don't want to ruin the ending for you but they write a book.
My wife accused me of being self-important.I nearly fell off my throne.
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