My wife thinks I'm too nosey.At least, that's what she wrote in her diary and texted to all her mates.
Conversation with an egotist: "Well, that's enough about me, now tell me what you think about me."
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
I'm currently reading a book about North African invaders during Medieval times and can't put it down.Its very moorish.
I was driving down the road when I ran over some humus. A little further on, I hit taramasalata. Then I saw a road sign:'Caution - dips in road'
Without me, it's just aweso.
I had a candlelit dinner the other night.Everything was really undercooked.
I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name.It's P something T something R.
I've put in so many shifts where I work recently that they've decided to fire me.Keyboard manufacturing isn't as easy as it looks.
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.He said, "How flexible are you?"I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."
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